Protopresbyter Alexander Schmemann
Now the clock strikes twelve on New Year’s. And as
long as it strikes life for twelve short seconds stops and pauses, and
everything as it were focuses on what is now to begin, posing and
responding to the same torturous question: what is this – another step
towards a meaningless end and disappearance, or the unexpected flashing
of a ray of renewal and new beginnings?
Protopresbyter Alexander Schmemann
On New Year’s Eve we feel the mystery of time more powerfully than at
any other time. We feel, in other words, that its flow – in which we
live and in which everything constantly vanishes as the “past” and
constantly places us face to face with the unknown future – essentially
contains within itself the main question that everyone is called to
answer with their lives.
“Vain gift, chance gift – life, why have you been given me?” asks the
poet [Pushkin] in his immortal line. Indeed, it is enough for one
moment to turn away from the cares that absorb us, enough mentally to
stop the ceaseless waterfall of time, disappearing into the abyss, in
order for the question “Why is life given and what is its meaning?” to
rise from the depths of the subconscious, where we normally hide it from
ourselves, and stand before us in all its implacability.
I was not, now I am, and I will not be; thousands of years passed
before me, and thousands will come after… On the surface of this
unimaginably infinite ocean I am but a fleeting bubble, into which a ray
of life flashes for a split second, just to be extinguished and
disappear then and there.
“Vain gift, chance gift – life, why have you been given me?” What, in
comparison with this only honest, rueful question do all the loud
theories mean that seek to answer this with tiresome theoretics of a
“bright future”? “We will build our new world. He who was nothing will
become everything” [from The Internationale]… The most naïve, gullible,
and dull-witted person cannot but know that all this is a lie. For both
the very one “who was nothing” and the one who “will become everything”
will disappear from the face of the earth, from this hopeless mortal
world.
Therefore, regardless of whatever we were taught by pathetic prophets
of a pathetic happiness, only one real question stands eternally before
man: does this ever-so-brief life have any meaning? What does it mean,
when compared with the boundless abyss of time, that this flash of
consciousness, this ability to think, rejoice, and suffer, this
extraordinary life that, however seemingly futile and random, is still
looked upon by us as a gift?
Now the clock strikes twelve on New Year’s. And as long as it strikes
life for twelve short seconds stops and pauses, and everything as it
were focuses on what is now to begin, posing and responding to the same
torturous question: what is this – another step towards a meaningless
end and disappearance, or the unexpected flashing of a ray of renewal
and new beginnings? In response come words from an infinite loftiness
and an infinite profundity: That was the true Light, which lighteth
every man that cometh into the world. He was in the world, and the world
was made by Him, and the world knew Him not. He came unto His own, and
His own received Him not. But as many as received Him, to them gave He
power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name…
And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld His
glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace
and truth… And of His fulness have we received, and grace for grace (John 1:9-12, 14, 16).
These are the words of the Evangelist John the Theologian in the very
beginning of his Gospel. They are thoroughly imbued with the joy,
confidence, and love of a man who has seen the light of true life, about
which it is said that it shines in darkness and was not overcome by the
darkness (John 1:5). Listening attentively to them, the very same joy,
the very same confidence, and the very same love begin to be kindled in
our own souls. Time is powerless if this light shines above us. Life is
not vain, life is not chance, but is a gift from on high, from God,
about Whom the same John the Theologian said that in Him was life, and
this life was the light of man (John 1:4). And every man that comes into
this world is once again set alight, is once again gifted this life,
and the love of God is addressed to each one of them, and to each one of
them is addressed God’s commandment: “Live!” Live, in order to love!
Live, so that your life will be filled with love, light, wisdom, and
knowledge! Live, so that in your life darkness, meaninglessness, and
eventually death itself will be overcome! For eternity already shines
through this world and through this earthly life. This gift of life in
the world and with the world is given us that eternal life with God and
in God may become part of us.
Yes, suffering, doubt, trials, the bitterness of separation – all
these have fully become part of our lot. How often we are weakened in
this battle, and give up, and fall, and change! How often we are scared
and lonely, how often we lose heart when we see how evil and hatred are
triumphing in the world! But the One Who gave us this life and granted
us freedom taught us to discern good and evil; He gave us the loftiest
of all gifts: love. For He said, and continues to say: In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world
(John 16:33). We, too, can overcome in this very world, and in it our
lives can shine with that same light that once flashed forth and
continues to shine – that light that the darkness has not overcome.
The clock strikes… Let this mysterious future come to us; for,
whatever it might bring with it, we know and believe that God is with
us, that Christ has not orphaned us, that He is faithful that promised (Hebrews 10:23). Here are the marvelous words of
Vladimir Soloviev:
Death and time reign on earth,
Do not call them your masters;
Everything, whirling about, disappears in the haze
The only thing fixed is the sun of love.
Do not call them your masters;
Everything, whirling about, disappears in the haze
The only thing fixed is the sun of love.
Yes, this is our calling, our freedom as children of God: not to call
“masters” those things whose dominions have been destroyed, and not to
close ourselves from access to the Sun of love, faith, and hope.
The holiday will soon be over, and routine, labor, fatigue, and
depression will begin. But let us not permit the daily routine to
overpower ours souls! Just as sunlight penetrates through closed
shutters, so too let the light of Christ, through this mysterious
holiday, become present in our daily lives, rendering our entire lives
an ascent, a communion with God – a difficult but joyful path to eternal
life. For the Apostle John said: For God so loved the world, that He
gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not
perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16).
Happy New Year!
Translated from Russian
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