By Elder
Sophrony, from “Saint Silouan the Athonite, ” St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press,
Crestwood, NY (1999), pp. 390-393.
When the soul
abides in the love of God—how good and gracious and festive all things are! But
even with God’s love, sorrows continue and the greater the love, the greater
the sorrow. Never by a single thought did the Mother of God sin, nor did she
ever lose grace, yet vast were her sorrows; when she stood at the foot of the
Cross her grief was as boundless as the ocean and her soul knew torment incomparably
worse than Adam’s when he was driven from Paradise, in that the measure of her
love was beyond compare greater than the love which Adam felt when he was in
Paradise. That she remained alive was only because the Lord’s might sustained her,
for it was His desire that she should behold His Resurrection, and live on
after His Ascension to be the comfort and joy of the
Apostles and
the new Christian peoples. We cannot attain to the full love of the Mother of
God, and so we cannot thoroughly comprehend her grief.
Her love was complete. She
had an unlimited love for God and her Son but she loved the people, too, with a
great love. What, then, must she have felt when those same people whom she
loved so dearly, and whose salvation she desired with all her being, crucified
her beloved Son?
We cannot
fathom such things, since there is little love in us for God and man. Just as the
love of the Mother of God is boundless and passes our understanding, so is her
grief boundless and beyond our understanding. O holy Virgin Mary, tell us, thy
children, of thy love on earth for thy Son and God. Tell us how thy spirit
rejoiced in God thy Saviou.
Tell us of how
thou didst look upon Hisfair countenance,and reflect
that this was He Whom all the heavenly hosts wait upon in awe and love. Tell us
what thy soulfelt when thou didst bear the won- drous Babe in thine arms. Tell
us of how thou didst rear Him, how, sick at heart, thou and Joseph sought Him
three long days in Jerusalem. Tell us of thine agony when the Lord was
delivered up to be crucified, and lay dying on the Cross. Tell us what joy was
thine over the Resurrection. Tell us how thy soul languished after the Lord’s
Ascension.
We long to know
of thy life on earth with the Lord but thou was not minded to commit all these
things to writing, and didst veil thy secret heart in silence.
Many are the
marvels and mercies that I have witnessed at the hands of the Lord and of the
Mother of God but there is naught I can render in return for this love of
theirs. What could I give our most holy sovereign Lady for coming to me and
bringing enlightenment, instead of turning away in loathing for my sin? I did
not behold her with my eyes but the Holy Spirit gave me to know her through her
words, which were filled with grace, and my spirit rejoices and my soul leaps
to her in love, so that the mere invocation of her name is sweet to my heart.
Once, when I
was a young novice, I was praying before an icon of the Mother of God, and the
Jesus Prayer entered into my heart and there began to repeat itself of its own
accord. Moreover, another time in church I was listening to a reading from the
prophet Isaiah, and at the words, Wash you, make you clean, (Isa 1:16), I
reflected, “Maybe the Mother of God sinned at one time or another, if only in thought.”
And, marvelous to relate, in unison with my prayer a voice sounded in my heart,
saying clearly, The Mother of God never sinned, even in thought.
Thus did the
Holy Spirit bear witness in my heart to her purity. However, during her earthly
life, even she was not quite perfect and complete— she did make some “mistakes”
that did not involve sin. We can see this from the Gospel when on the return
from Jerusalem she did not know where her Son was, and together with Joseph
sought Him for three days: And it came to pass, that after three days they
found him in the temple.
(Lk 2:44-46).
My soul
trembles and is afraid when I consider the glory of the Mother of God. Small
and of no account is my mind, poor and sickly my heart, but my soul rejoices
and would fain set down if but a little concerning her. My soul fears to touch
upon this matter but love constrains me not to conceal my thankfulness for her
compassion.
The Mother of God committed to writing neither
her thoughts nor her love for God and her Son, nor her soul’s suffering at the
Crucifixion, because in any case we could not have understood, for her love for
God is stronger and more ardent than the love of the Seraphim and Cherubim, and
all the hosts of angels and archangels marvel at her. And though the life of the
Mother of God is hidden, as it were in a holy silence, our Lord allows our
Orthodox Church to know that she embraces the whole world in this love of hers,
and in the Holy Spirit sees all the peoples of the earth, and like her Son
pities all men and has compassion on them. O, if we might only know the love of
the most holy Mother of God for all who keep the commandments of Christ, and how
she pities and sorrows over sinners who do not reform! I had experience of this
myself. Of a truth I say, speaking before God, Whom my soul knoweth: in spirit
I know the Most Pure Virgin. I never beheld her but the Holy Spirit gave me to
know her and her love for us. Were it not for her compassion I would have
perished long ago but she was minded to come to me and enlighten me, so that I
should not sin. This is what she said: It is painful for me to look upon thee,
at what thou doest. And her words, soft, quiet and gentle, wrought upon my
soul.
Over forty years have gone by since
then but my soul can never forget those sweet words, and I know not what return
to make for such love towards my sinful self, nor how to give thanks to the
good and forbearing Mother of God.
Verily she is
our advocate before God, and alone the sound of her name rejoices the soul. But
all heaven and earth, too, rejoice in her love.
Here is a
wondrous thing, which passes understanding: she dwells in heaven and ever beholds
the glory of God, yet she does not forget us, poor wretches that we are, and
spreads her compassion over the whole earth, over all peoples. And this most
pure Mother of His, the Lord has bestowed on us. She is our joy and our
expectation. She is our Mother in the spirit, and kin to us by nature, as a
human being, and every Christian’s soul leaps to her in love.
Orthodox
Heritage Vol. 15, Issue 07-08
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